For a very long time I have been my worst critic. I would stay silent and not share anything about myself unless it was positive. When people asked “How are you today?” I would always reply “Pretty good”, even if I was feeling miserable. I didn’t want anyone to come into my world, I locked everyone out and I was in deep, deep pain from depression, and anxiety. It took me about twenty years or so to find out that you don’t have to live that way. That there are people out there that do care and want to help. I know sometimes the world can seem dark and that you don’t want it all to end but I am here to tell you that life gets better. It wasn’t an easy road nor was it a fast road to find happiness in my life. Like I said it took over twenty years for me to break the hold that the darkness had over me. To share what I was going through, well, I have diabetes which is not in control, as I am writing this I weigh four hundred and thirty pounds, I have a hard time walking long distances, I can’t sit in a chair for too long, I can’t stand for very long, I have depression, anxiety, and sleep apnea. Now the old me wanted to give up, pack it in and commit suicide. But luckily I had people around me who I started to let in and they helped me through it. It took years and a lot of yelling and punching walls but I am still here, I am still alive. And as of March 2019 I am going to go into get a gastro bypass surgery done to help with all those problems I listed before. If you don’t know what a gastro bypass surgery is its where they surgically make your stomach much smaller and reroute some of your intestines so you don’t eat as much. It might sound easy but there are still a lot of rules that go along with it so that I don’t hurt myself or undo the doctors work. My point is all of this and why I am telling you this, is because here on this site, you don’t have to hide from the world. On this site we are building a community of people who need support and want to give support in return. This is a place of healing. You do not have to hide in the darkness any longer.